i dont know how to start,
cus there's just too much things to say.

everything's just so unpredictable. we can plan for the rest of our lives but two minutes can just wipe out all the dreams and take away our lives. that two minutes can change everything. yeah. it's quite a scary thought to lose all your loved ones in that split moment. hah. i'm afraid i wont have to chance to do all the things i want, to say the things i really feel to people around me and to experience somethings before i eventually leave.

i dont like changes. even though i've learnt to grow accustommed to them, i still detest them. i dislike being close to people then losing touch with them. i absolutely do not like people i'm close to being far away from me. it's like some part is empty. yucks, that empty feeling. perhaps that's the reason why i feel so emotional towards -'s leaving. some things cant be put down into words yeah. oh no, cant imagine 2nd Jan. sigh. ): even though its six months, within that six months, so much would have changed no matter how we try to keep it the sane. the only constant thing is change. hope after six months, when she comes back, i'll still remember her. (: -smiles.

this year changed alot of things q abit.

recently got to know a few people better after the yf camp. perhaps the way we meet and bond together is q inexplicable. i still cant figure out how we all got close and shared secrets late in the night. all the late night meetings, stayovers and daily conference calls. yeah. people like samuel/darius/vivien/elizabeth who no fail conference and meet up everyday. it's amazing how we never knew each other at all initially to becoming such friends. oh, there's the occasional tessa/terence/stanley in the talk too. stanley talk shows are never boring. haha. yeah. but with school starting, everyone's going to get busy, ter leaving for ns, etcetc, really hope we'd not drift apart much.

read ter's entry about spiritual growth in church. somehow everything's just fun fun fun now. hope perhaps we can together reach a deeper understanding of the Truth while playing and being together. and perhaps, we can forge friendships with people we can call "Friends" and built lasting friendships. really hope that those getclose-driftapart symptoms i always get do not apply to them.

having short term memory, i somehow cant remember what i wanted to say next.

oh yes, the wake of Helen Heng/maylene's aunt is at my block. victim of the tsunami disaster in phiphi island. sigh. see, how 2 minutes can change a person's and their family member's lives. sad. ):

another significant event which happened in 04 was canoeing. it was quite a mixture of painful&happy memories. somehow i feel that the days of canoeing taught me about alot of things. it didnt start out well, tensions, disagreements, unhappiness mounted. teammates came, teammates left. never ceased to have grumblings and whatnot at each trng sessions. there were also petty "i hate her" issues. hahh. thank goodness, alot of that disipated slowly. met new friends at weird and funny places too. haha. finally understood what it means to take part in a competition. the adrenaline blah. moreover, it's the first sports cca i joined. there were no doubt disappointment and tears at certain occasions. in days i became so tanned till the point someone asked me if i was "breaking fast" when i was having dinner, rose asked where i bought my "sleves" from when we went sentosa. haha.

-

okay, going out now.
continue later.
bye. (: